Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Parenting License

There used to be this awesome blog called, whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com  ...but I guess it's no longer active.  What made it awesome was that it said one thing that never fails to come to my mind every single time I take even one step outside my door:  WHY THE F**K DO YOU HAVE A KID?

I had to get a special license and take a class in order to operate a motorcycle.  We require special licenses for doctors, lawyers, realitors, interpreters, teachers, boaters, hunters, gun owners, bar tenders and I think some states even have them for nannies/baby-sitters.  ...Yet we don't have one for parenting.

Sure we have laws about negligence and abuse that are fantastic, but what if the parents are total idiots or douchebags that aren't breaking any laws, they just happen to totally suck at parenting.

 
I can't go to Wal-Mart, McDonald's or any other public place where kids are prevalent without seeing a handful of these fools hanging around.  You know the type, die-hard "Juno" fans that want nothing more in life than to have a baby even though it is painfully obvious they can barely care for themselves. 

The baby will be like a cute living doll or fashion accessory to Ms. Juno-Fan for a while, until she realizes that raising a kid is really hard work...then she will resent it.  Once the kid starts to talk and have an opinion of his/her own the Mom will likely give up and turn the brat over to the streets.

Don't worry though, she will keep leftover mac-n-cheese on the counter to keep the kid fed...but anything involving getting off the couch is just out of the question for this welfare queen.

And this is where kids like Thug-Jr. come into play.  You may remember hearing about this one a couple years ago, the 7-year-old that stole his grandma's SUV and went on a destructive joyride.


Kids like this don't just happen over night.  They are made over years of indifference and total lack of positive role models.  Plop your kid down in front of the TV and let our trashy entertainment raise him/her...and this is the end result.

Don't worry, he only wants to do hood-rat shit...just like his idols on TV or video games.  I'm not saying those are to blame, I am just saying that those may have been the only role models he had in life...if gangstas can steal cars and get famous, then why not him?  (Ooh look, it totally happened!  He was recently on Tosh.0 for this.)

Cases like this really make me wonder why we don't require parenting classes in school, or at least for when parents find out a baby is on the way.  Would it be so terrible to make sure parents are qualified enough to at least not severely screw their kid up for life?


Random Redneck actually brings up a pretty good counter-argument.  We can't infringe on the rights of others just because we don't agree with them.  But, if the parents don't give a shit then why not just step in and be the role model the kid needs?

This would mean relatives and neighbors would have to actually grow a pair and do something good for the world...but that doesn't seem too likely.  (I don't have much faith in humanity, sorry.)

So what about turning those lame after-school and summer programs into things that the little brats actually would enjoy...like something involving video games and pretty much anything other than that lame-ass macaroni picture garbage.


If kids, like Thug-JR, like to do hood rat shit, then why not take them fishing?  Gutting a fish is about as gangsta as it gets and would totally feed their thirst for violence and it would mean spending hours at a time with someone that is at least motivated enough to go out and do something other than get drunk and watch TV all day.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amen.
Although, I must disagree with one point.
It's not 'merica
It's totally 'MURRICA

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I got my English degree and mountain of student loan debt from the University of Iowa. I like boo berry cereal, martial arts, running and cats.
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