Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Christmas Songs That Rock

It is December and it is snowing, so I guess I will finally admit to it being Christmas season.

I don't necessarily hate Christmas, it's just that I think it is grossly over hyped.  I have never had a perfect Christmas, nor do I know anyone who has; so building up such high expectations for one day seems like a very easy way to get disappointed.

I also don't like how overly commercialized this religious holiday has been for the last few generations.  "The Charlie Brown Christmas Special" spoke out against commercializing the holiday and that was about fifty years ago.

We should have listened to Charlie Brown.

So, the holiday kind of blows...but there are certain aspects of it that totally kick ass no matter how badly the other parts may suck.

I love Christmas music.  Songs about forgiveness, being with the ones that you love, peace on Earth, and just generally being decent human beings never fail to rekindle my faith in humanity.

Black Friday usually sends me into a spiral of hatred for mankind that lasts until I hear some really good holiday music.  We're supposed to be reminding ourselves to be generous and kind to others, but on Black Friday we trample people to death over saving a few bucks on crap we do not need.

...Let's save that for another day though.

Some Christmas music sucks (elementary school choirs), some of it is over-done (Grandma got run over by a reindeer), and some of it is pretty awesome (Rock band covers of the classics).


[The Matt has short-circuited and lost his drawing, writing and humor skills]

[Please stand by while Matt sorts his shit out]

[We apologize for the inconvenience]


 [Hawaiin Punch Juice Box solved that problem]

[We now resume this segment of "Radioactive Cheese"]


...Best listen to the boss and get back to work, huh?

So as I was saying before I plummeted into a dark hole of soul crushing despair and dehydration due to lack of delicious juice; Christmas music can be pretty awesome.

Sometimes if you just dig around a bit you will find that some of your favorite performers made covers of classic holiday songs or even made some of their own.  I often stumble on excellent holiday songs years after they were recorded, but just because they are a little old doesn't mean they aren't just as inspirational.

...though the things some of them are trying to inspire may not necessarily be good things.

My Chemical Romance - All I Want For Christmas Is You
It may be emo, but I don't give two craps.  I love all types of music, even emo.

No Doubt - Oi To The World
I love ska music, underneath my emo appearance is a side-burns and fedora rockin' rude-boy waiting to skank all over your coffee table.  Yes.

Mogwai - Christmas Song
Sometimes it's good to chill with some instrumentals.

Home Grown - Feliz Navidad
I love old school pop-punk and I love how the Spanish language sounds...combo delicioso.

Goldfinger - White Christmas
Ska is upbeat, Christmas is upbeat...I think there is a theme going on here!

The Ramones - Merry Christmas (I don't want to fight tonight)
To break up the jolly ska parade I have been building, here's some domestic abuse and classic punk rock!

Thrice - Carol of Bells
This one is quite good, it is a shame it was never "officially" released

Family Force 5 - Grandma Got Ran Over
I know the original has been beaten to death, but this one is pretty dope.  (Trust me, dope is the only word to describe these beats)

Run DMC - Christmas in Hollis
This is from the year that I was born!  Yay for old school!  (It's still awesome)

MC Chris - Evergreen
Despite popular belief, MC Chris is not dead.  Listen to his rhymes and he just might visit your house on Christmas Eve (He's one very magical MC).

Blink 182 - Won't Be Home For Christmas
This is how I rolled in high school and it is still how I roll today.  Rock.

These are some of my favorites, and it is only the beginning of December, so I still have plenty of time to find and enjoy some crazy awesome holiday music.

After all, if it wasn't for the music, the food, the people, the festivities and the (superficial) attempts to bring joy to the world, I just might hate this holiday.

...Did I ever have any hipster cred anyway?

For my atheist and holiday-hating amigos, here's some cheerful tunes to brighten up your day.  I spent all day rocking my face off to this song and screaming along with it until my throat went raw and I was spitting blood.  ROCK.  (Jolly, huh?)


Anonymous said...

Boo.....Also, what-the-f*ck is 'ska' and when did Indian children raised by wolves begin singing Christmas songs!?

Matt said...

Yay! An opportunity to culture somebody! Ska is basically punk rock with trumpets and happiness added and all the anger and drugs removed. Ska music typically is about simply enjoying life (often with drinking).

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I got my English degree and mountain of student loan debt from the University of Iowa. I like boo berry cereal, martial arts, running and cats.
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