Thursday, December 2, 2010

Coffee Gets Crap Done (Even When I Don't Want It To)

I like coffee.  It tastes good, makes me feel more mature and refined than I really am, and it is basically a legal and non-lethal steroid for getting crap done.

I drink coffee regularly, but I just can't seem to build up any tolerance to the stuff, no matter how hard I try.  I abused caffeine as a teenager by chugging soda everyday and that just made me hostile and out of control.

As an adult, the results with coffee are similar.

It takes about half an hour for me to fully wake up with no caffeine or sugar in the morning.

However, I am a very busy guy and I need to get crap done now!  

Job hunting takes up quite a bit of time, and I like to do chores around the house each day since my Dad is letting me live at home for free and is paying for my food (sweetest deal EVER).

One mug of coffee later and I am an unstoppable machine, loaded with motivation, determination and enough energy to put the Large Hadron Collider to shame!

At this point I will smash particles with my freaking eyelids just because it keeps me entertained while I take care of basic errands.

If I were to drink coffee in front of the ancient Greeks I would likely be worshiped as a god...and then promptly killed.  ...But on the plus side, people would remember my name.

When hopped up on coffee, basic chores have to be enhanced with roundhouse kicks just to keep them interesting enough so that I don't explode from caffeinated energy overload!

The house is spotless, my to-do list is complete and I should be content with all my hard work.

But I'm not.

I should be out doing amazing things and making the world a better place, but I am stuck at home waiting for a job offer from any of the hundreds of applications I've sent out while job hunting.

Job hunting after college is like spending your whole life training for the Olympics.  You are the best at what what you do, and every fiber in your being screams "let me show you what I am capable of!"  ...but then you get there and find out your event is on hold until the economy picks up.

There's really no one person to blame, it's just that the world has no need for recent college grads right now.  The places that are hiring can't afford us, and everywhere else is trying to cut down on workers.

I've often heard that the unemployment rate is about 18% for recent college grads, and that's not counting the under-employed...I think some people estimated that unemployed/under-employed rate for college graduates for 2009 and 2010 is about 80%, but I can't recall for sure.

What I do know is that with no job, I have no directive, and with no directive, I feel lost.

I empathize with the Depression Era generation.


Anonymous said...

I giggled.

Matt said...

lol yeeees! (If you don't know why Over 9,000 is excellent, click the link and watch the fan-vids too!)

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I got my English degree and mountain of student loan debt from the University of Iowa. I like boo berry cereal, martial arts, running and cats.
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